Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many challenges.

Building an effective and lasting relationship is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective the members of the group work together as well as with the top management.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to effective relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect.  We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can. Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Developing an atmosphere where people feel safe to express their feelings is also key to successful relationships building. When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

relationships and respect, respect and relationship

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I don’t think I can express enough the crucial importance of contacts. I could rattle off statistics like the Federal Bureau of Labor research that 70% of all jobs are found through networks or axioms like “It’s not what you know but who you know”, but the truth is that nothing, bar nothing, is as important as your list of contacts.

The value of social networks:

Everybody can benefit from the value of connecting and most importantly, those that participate in connecting with others, whether here or anywhere, will receive those benefits.

The value of a network is greater than the sum of the individuals that make up that network. In other words if you have 100 people and you add up their individual values it would be smaller (much smaller) than their value if they all knew each other. Hopefully this is just stating something that you already knew and readily practice, but it also has another interesting conclusion that might not be so obvious.

Each new member to that network grows the value of that network at an increasing rate. So if you take our 100 person network and double it to a 200 person network the value of this new network is much greater than simply double the 100 person network. Each person has an exponential increase in the value of the network.

Connecting with others is a win: win scenario. Everybody benefits from everyone’s participation. A proper network does not create winners and losers…only winners. Remember creating wealth is not about beating someone else or taking money off someone. It’s about offering value to others. If you offer value to others they will pay you willingly for that value.

The great thing about networks is that they are virtually free to participate in but they can provide immeasurable value to you and the others in the network. How much does it cost to make a contact or keep a friend? A few minutes on the phone, a regular coffee, an email here and there. I’m sure you get the idea that there is no cost involved. But what could you offer that friend or vice versa. You (or they) could be the contact that opens the door to a massive deal or new job opportunity or life changing experience. This sort of thing happens time and again…and introductions and recommendations, much like manners, cost nothing.

Who would benefit from you introducing a friend to someone else you know looking to meet or say hire someone like your friend? Well your friend would obviously if they score a brilliant new job. Your other contact, the employer, would as well because you’ve helped them find someone they were looking for. And finally you would because these two people are grateful to you for your help in being thoughtful enough to see the link and introduce them. To sum up, connecting people is all about solving problems!

Small World:

But is all this networking stuff really worth the effort? Will it really change your life? The short answer is “Yes”. However, for those of us that would like a bit more convincing one of the most famous social network experiments was performed by Stanley Milgram in the late 1960s. He created an experiment that illustrates just how close we are to anyone we need to know.

Milgram sent letters to random participants in Omaha and Wichita detailing the purpose of the study and some basic information on a target in Boston that they should sent the letter to. If they didn’t know the target directly then they should forward the letter to an acquaintance they thought would be more likely to know the target, and so on. Milgram found that the average length of these chains was about six. His study essentially shows us just how small this world really is…connect because you are closer to the person that can change your life than you think.

Although Milgram’s experiment showed that the average length between two random people is six, he never coined the term six degrees of separation. Credit for that goes to John Guare who first used the term for his 1990 play. It later became a more common term following the 1993 film of the same name featuring Will Smith.

An interesting variation of this theme is the trivia game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, which states that any actor or actress could be linked to Kevin Bacon within six links. It’s amazing to think that Kevin Bacon is linked to Ronald Reagan and Steve McQueen by only one person. Try the game is fun and enlightening…

I hope you come and join in…

Emlyn Scott is the founder of Rich1Percent, investor and wealth creation author. He is a wealth creation and finance expert with 4 post graduate qualifications and has amassed a multi-million dollar investment portfolio.

Perhaps you have heard this cliche many times before…

“If we can’t be a lover, we still can be friend”.

Even the popular song “Rihanna Umbrella” uses it in its lyrics. FYI: Rihanna Umbrella is a song by the pop princess Rihanna. This song is about a girl who has ended her relationship with her lover, but she still wants to be friend with her ex-lover. The theme of her song “You can stand under my umbrella,” is a metaphor for “when you need help, you can still come to me because I am still your friend”.

Well, the truth is that many people are unable to stay as friend after a relationship break-up. But, of course there are also many who are able to remain as friends after a break-up. So, it’s all depend on case by case situation.

Typically, you still can be friend with your ex-lover if and only if the following is true…

Enough time has been given in the break up process and both of you fully understand the reasons why the relationship should end. No one will dwell on the past and there is no hard-feeling. So, there is mutual respect between you and your ex, agree to disagree… and move on…

If there is any “hard-feeling”, then being friend with your ex-lover can be very difficult and stressful. It’s just like a time bomb waiting to explode. If you still want to be friend with your lover after a break-up, the only best solution is to sit down and talk it over until both of you agree that ending the relationship is best for both of you in future. I know it can be difficult to sit down and talk, but if you don’t do that… it can be difficult for you to move on…

P.S. if you like the “Rihanna Umbrella” song, you can watch and listen to a variation of this song by this beautiful and most talented singer Marie Digby.

friends with ex lovers