How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Disagreeing without being disagreeable means acknowledging or validating other person’s point of view first before making your points.
Here are some tips you can use to handle disagreements:
Tip 1: When someone says something that you don’t agree, do NOT say… “you are WRONG!”. Say, “You make some good points. Here are some perspectives we want to consider…”. This validates his/her points before suggesting him/her to look at another point of view.
Tip 2: When making your points, be more specific! Rather than saying… “Everyone knows that information is not true”. Be more specific and say… “I have information from a doctor that we want to consider here”.
Tip 3: Don’t insinuate or imply. Just say what you mean. For example, if someone’s perfume is bothering you, avoid saying… “people should consider others before they put on perfume”. Say… “I am sensitive to your perfume”.
It’s easy to disagree without being disagreeable if you always remember to apply Stephen Covey’s habit #5 “Seek First to Understand: Then to be Understood” in his best-selling book 7 habits of highly effective people. When you cultivate this habit, you will be surprised that people are more open to you. This is because they feel validated and safe expressing their point of view with you. Hope you find these tips are helpful to you.
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December 31st, 2007 08:40
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